chiron_survivor | Getting back in touch. ((for rogueinladysclothing))

That text doesn't give her much to go on, but at least she responded this time. She tucks away both PINpoints before heading towards the garden, following the trail through the high grass like Amelia showed her.

It doesn't take long to find her friend; she's been here enough times to be familiar with the major landmarks. "Hello?" she says, peeking into the doorway. Adia is dressed for the cooler weather in a deep green peacoat that looks brand new. There's a scarf wrapped around her neck and her ever-present messenger bag slung over her shoulder. She looks the best she's ever been, glowing in a way that can't simply be explained by the color in her cheeks.

It's probably not the face that Amelia wants to see, but here she is.

"In here."

Amelia's call comes from a room on the other side of the house. The sliding wall-door is open to give a view of the windswept garden, leaves blowing about and the trees swaying in the soft breeze. The rogue is set up in the center of the floor, her cloak flared out in a circle around her. Her hood is up, her papers and books for research set out in front of her, and her whole body is curled in on itself. This is the body language of someone carrying more weight than they should be.

When Adia reaches her, Amelia doesn't immediately look up. "Wasn't any trouble to find this place, was it?" she asks, tucking a few papers into a notebook. She takes a silent breath, puts on the best smile she can fake, and then turns to her friend. Her eyes widen in genuine surprise at how... well Adia looks. It's a look she recognizes, but can't quite name. "You look well. I take it the news you have to share is good?"

Heading further inside as instructed, Adia pauses at the entranceway, taking in her friend's appearance. With her hood up and her body hunched in, she looks more like a mourner than someone doing research. It reminds her of Felix, of all people, how he huddled close to the Halloween bonfire, hoping no one would spare him a second glance.

What happened that night, she wonders. She feels a pang of guilt for not noticing sooner.

She smiles timidly and scoots further into the room when Amelia greets her. "No, I found it fine." She winces internally at that fake smile, although she doesn't know what to make of the surprise that follows. "Thanks. I... yeah."

Taking a seat as close as she can without disrupting her papers, she plucks at the strap of her messenger bag, unsure of how to tell her the good news. It doesn't seem as important as unpacking her friend's sadness.

"Do you happen to have on you that drawing I gave you? Or is it somewhere else?"

Were she at the top of her game, Adia would never know about Amelia's sadness. But it's been such a long time since she needed to lie and she is so very beaten down by all of this. The best she can manage for now is to carry on, and deflect questions whenever she can. The rogue has no desire to answer questions about what happened that night or to revisit any of the events of the Nightmare. The farther away it is from her mind, the better.

Her brow furrows a little when Adia asks after the drawing. It's been a while since she's thought about it. "I don't have it with me," she says, gathering up a few more of her books to allow her friend to move closer, "but I promise it's still safe. It's in the exact same condition it was when you gave it to me." When she all but begged Amelia to take it from her. Her lips tug into a frown as she regards her friend. "What happened to make you want it back?"

It's better than the state she was in after Steve's grave injuries, but Adia can see her friend's sadness as plain as day. Can feel it tugging at her heart, as if it were her own. But she knows better than to ask questions. Yet. She needs to be delicate about this.

She scoots in, cross-legged. Her jeans are a little grass-stained and her boots are scuffed. Whoever got her the coat didn't have time to take her shoe-shopping, apparently. "I know," she says quickly. Never once did she doubt that Amelia would store the drawing properly. As for why she wants it back, that earns another pause. Hmm. Perhaps there's a way to broach the subject of the Nightmare and also share her good fortune.

"Well... I was thinking of asking for it back for a little while, actually. Being trapped in Micolash's nightmare... it stirred up some old emotions within me. Things about Caspar's suicide that I never fully addressed. I was, um... working on that, back home. I figured that I could handle having Hera's drawing back in my possession."

A smile creeps onto her face. "But Caspar... he didn't die with the other enemy Cylons. He got shot on Galactica, but he survived. Amelia, he came back to me. After everything, he came back to me, and he apologized, and oh, he loves me so much. Hera's drawing, it came true."

Her smile grows, warm and precious. Sorry, Amelia, she can't help it. She's in love.

Her eyes widen again as Adia speaks of the Nightmare. Dreams, how many people had been in it? How many had to suffer the way she ~~does~~ did? "No, not... not you. Adia, I'm so sorry." What else can she say to that declaration? Adia seems fine, more than fine, really. Maybe it was having something to focus on while also working through--

Oh. No. It wasn't that she had to work through it at all. Adia got what she wanted most out of life, and it was what she needed to make it through. That's... good. Really.

Guess that explains the glow she couldn't quite place, too.

The smile on her face becomes a little more sincere, even as there's a hint of pain at its edges. "Everything worked out between the two of you? You talked through what he did? And you accepted his apology?" It makes sense, given the kind of person Adia is, but the rogue can't help but check anyway. It's what a good friend and older sister does with those she cares about "There's no doubt about his intentions either? I suspect not, but I'd hate to see you hurt again."

"It's okay," she says reassuringly, when Amelia offers her condolences. It'd be a lie from most everyone else who experienced that hellish evening, but Adia clearly means it. "Ghost was with me, we were on a spaceship with a powerful being that was suffering terribly. I, um... I went to a bad place, but Ghost helped me through it."

She could go on, about being blessed by a goddess and freeing Harrowheart from his feral curse, but that's not as relevant to her journey to mourning Caspar properly. Nor is the moon rune, which she doesn't even think of mentioning. How would she explain that to Amelia? She still doesn't understand it herself.

"Yes, we talked. I was so mad at first that he walked right back into my life, like nothing happened." She lowers her voice and admits, "I pushed him, I was so mad. But then he apologized and... Amelia, he was so sorry. I know he won't hurt me again. I don't think he could bear it if he did."

"I'm sorry," she offers again. "All of those things that happened, to everyone who was in that place..." She shudders a little at the thought, decidedly turning her thoughts away from it so she doesn't fall down that rabbit hole. No good can come of bringing any of that up right now. "I'm glad you're safe again, and that you made it through all right."

In a break from her sullen moon, she huffs a small laugh when Adia talks about pushing Caspar. "You pushed him?" she teases, her smile warming. "I wish I'd been there to see it, if only so I could see the shocked look on his face." Which must have been quite the sight. Adia doesn't hurt anyone or anything, and she pushed the man she loves out of anger? How could that not be amusing to see?

She takes a breath to settle herself as Adia continues, shuffling her books and papers out of the way so she can turn to face her friend more fully. "I'm glad to hear that, because I'm certain I'll hurt him if he does. You deserve to be treated well by someone who loves you." She trusts Adia and her judgement, but that doesn't mean Amelia won't be protective in her own way - or less upset if something does go wrong.

"Nineteen souls," she says softly. She shows far more anguish for the others, Amelia included, than herself. "I haven't seen much of anyone who was there," she admits, giving her friend a tender, almost guilty look. "I'm sorry you went through that, too. I know you don't want to talk about it, but... I'm here for you. You know that, right?"

Maybe no good will come from bringing it up now, but she has to say it. She can't let Amelia think that she's been avoiding the subject because she doesn't care about how it's affected the rogue.

As for pushing Caspar, she gives an embarrassed giggle, but she's glad to see the smile on her friend's face. "He was pretty shocked," she agrees. "But it didn't stop him from hugging me. He was so happy to see me... it's how he looks at me all the time now. I almost don't know what to do with him." Except look at him the same way and smooch the heck out of him when she can get away with it.

Amelia's vow is not unexpected. It reminds her of Seth and Maggie and her other close friends who have been keeping a wary eye on Caspar. It doesn't stop her from sighing a little. "I appreciate it, Amelia, I do. But give him a chance first, okay? He's so sweet to me, and he's trying really hard to get along with everybody else."

Edited 2017-12-05 12:42 (UTC)

Amelia's avoided mentioning that she was in the Nightmare for just that reason. She doesn't want to talk about it. She doesn't want to even think about it. It's terrifying, what happened to her. That her family didn't know her. That all she knew how to do was run. That she doesn't know how long she was there, how many others were there, and honestly doesn't care. True, she cares about Adia and she thinks it's awful that her friend was dragged into all of that, but everyone else? Including the men she left behind when she led worgen Jim away as a distraction? Fuck them. She can't care.

She nods a little, trying to pull her thoughts back to the moment. Her gaze falls down to the books she has set aside as she shuffles them restlessly. "I know. You always are, and I appreciate that."

But she's not talking about this. Just... no.

It's too much. It's all too much.

Talk of Caspar is nice and distracting, though, and Amelia latches onto it without hesitation. "I'll give him a chance, I promise. I intended to from the start. I still... always plan for the worst, though." The Queen of Bad Timing and Decisions kind of has to if she wants to survive her own mistakes. She crosses her arms in front of her chest, frowning at the books she still hasn't looked up from. "I'm sorry if that upsets you."

It's enough that Amelia at least acknowledges that Adia is here for her, although it doesn't completely ease the look of concern on the microbiologist's face. How she wishes that there was something she could say that would magically erase her friend's pain, somehow unwind the damage caused on that terrible night. Because she knows that Amelia won't talk about it. Won't find a way to share that burden, either with her or another confidant.

All she can do is be present for her friend. She can't help carry the burden, but she can be there when Amelia stumbles under its weight.

Her smile returns when Amelia tells her that she's willing to give Caspar a chance. "Thank you." Her gratitude is followed by a soft giggle. "No, it doesn't upset me, although you'll have to wait in line behind my friend Maggie if he screws up somehow. Hopefully you'll get to meet him soon; I told him about the Nexus, and I got him a PINpoint a little earlier."

Edited 2017-12-05 18:55 (UTC)

She doesn't want to feel it. She doesn't want it to be real. If she can ignore it, then it was just a dream. It's something she can tell herself wasn't real and lie to herself about until the lies become reality.

So what if some dream people didn't know her? So what if she feels the need to see people she doesn't care about every day just to be acknowledged? Everyone wants to be seen and remembered, even if they won't admit it; Even if they're not like Amelia, with a world full of people tucked far away from her and probably forgetting her as her thoughts start to devolve into a mess again.

Dreams, why is she so weak against this? She takes a breath and wipes at her eyes with one hand, subtly trying to breathe through some of the heavier emotions that try and peek through. It's painfully obvious anyway.

"If he does something while he's here in the Nexus can I have the first swing?" she asks, trying her best to sound teasing again. "Your friend Maggie can finish him off after I take a turn, since we haven't known each other very long and she actually knows Caspar." That's a fair deal, right? Amelia thinks it is, and would think the same even if she were in full control.

Watching Amelia struggle with those heavy emotions twists at her heart. She can't sit back and do nothing. Reaching into her messenger bag, she rustles around until she finds what she's looking for -- a foil-wrapped chocolate in the shape of a coin. Harrowheart had given it to her at the Halloween party for telling a silly joke, and she was saving it for a special occasion.

Well, this is as special as any.

"It's chocolate," she tells Amelia, offering it to her with a smile.

She giggles again at Amelia's proposition, although she makes a note not to mention this conversation to Caspar later. "Sounds fair." It is nice to know that Amelia has her back, should something go wrong. She smooths her hands over the sleeves of her coat and smiles softly. "I took him to the Shopping District... it seemed the least intimidating. I let him get me this."

She blinks when the chocolate comes into view. It's... for her? Slowly, she looks up at Adia, shock etched into her face. Gifts are rare for her. And gifts like this, when she really needs them? She can count on one hand the number of times that's happened. Part of her wants to reject the gift but... that's rude, isn't it? Adia means it to be something to make her feel better, and she can't turn that sort of thing down.

Carefully, she reaches out and takes the small chocolate, holding it on her open palm and just staring at it for a moment. This is real, right? This is happening? It doesn't feel possible.

"Thank you," she murmurs, swallowing hard. A breath, and she slowly draws her hand back to her chest. "I don't know what to say to something like this." What could she say that wouldn't sound crass or make her cry right now anyway?

Amelia always has Adia's back. Since that first day they met she's been on the other woman's side and the rogue will fight for her without question. It's simply Amelia's way of showing that she cares, even if it only makes sense in her mind.

"Let him buy you the coat?" Her lips twitch into a smile, but it doesn't last long. "Was he trying to buy his way back into your good graces? Or did he have some ulterior motive for buying you everything your heart desired?"

Edited 2017-12-06 06:17 (UTC)

"'Thank you' works," she replies, her smile tempered by the concern in her eyes. How little kindness have others spared this woman, that a chocolate coin is enough to send her into shock? Is this why the Nightmare has her so closed off, so fragile? The people who loved her most are forever out of her life, but Adia makes a silent vow to fill that gap as best she can.

Her gaze drops to the way Amelia holds the coin close to her chest. "When was the last time you've eaten?" she asks curiously. "Do you want me to get something? Or we can go together."

The way Amelia phrases her question makes her smile falter. So suspicious, even if Amelia is still attempting to tease her. "He wants to spoil me," she says with a soft shrug. "And he likes to shop for clothes, but his taste isn't the most practical for the life we live now. I did need a new coat, though." She thinks that Caspar would appreciate Amelia's tailor, but she isn't about to ask for a recommendation. He needs to earn her friend's trust first.

Edited 2017-12-06 14:15 (UTC)

It's hard to receive comfort and kindness when you don't put yourself out into the world, and Amelia excels at hiding. Other friends show her kindness through words, but that's not the same as a gift like what Adia offers now. In a state like this, all she wants is to be seen and heard, but that's not what she needs. It's a hard thing to ask for what you need when you don't know what that is, though.

"Please don't leave." She gasps at how quickly those words fell from her lips, how harsh and needy they sound. Her eyes fall to the chocolate in her hands, and she slowly begins to unwrap it to give herself something to to do. "I had breakfast." Almost 8 hours ago, and it was only a piece of toast, an apple, and a cup of coffee, but it still counts. She hasn't felt hungry since then, so there's been no need to eat. "But we can go somewhere if you want. My treat." In return for the kindness that she's getting now.

"Being spoiled isn't a bad thing," she notes, nibbling at her chocolate. She's sure it's at least decent chocolate, but it's tasteless in her mouth against the pain she feels. No wonder she doesn't want to eat anything; Why would she when everything's lost its flavor and appeal? "He probably wants to overcompensate, to make sure you know how much he loves you." Amelia would do the same thing, if she were in Caspar's position.

"I won't leave," she replies, as fast as she can without sounding panicked. What is going on with Amelia? This is clearly a different kind of suffering than what her friend was experiencing with Steve's loss. Not grief, then... fear, perhaps?

Well, it was a Nightmare...

Breakfast was a while ago, but before Adia can point that out, the rogue is offering take her out to lunch. And while Adia was hoping to pay for lunch -- she has money now -- she decides it's not worth wounding the rogue's pride in insisting that she pay. She'll have to find some other way to treat her.

And speaking of treating, Amelia's assessment of Caspar's spending urges is spot-on. And while it does make her smile, she looks a little pained, too. "I know... I wish he didn't feel like he has to do that. He shows me that he loves me in so many ways, I don't need new things on top of that." But, now that she's had her own attempt at spending money rebuffed, maybe she'll let him get her that new pair of boots. If it will make him feel better.

She exhales a shaky breath, trying to come back from the edge. "Thank you." It's all she can manage for a few moments as she breathes through the rush of adrenaline that came from thinking Adia was going to leave her alone. That her friend was going to turn away from her and forget her when she left. Part of her knows that won't happen, but it's far removed from the place the tiger is right now. She can't think clearly about much of anything, let alone something that would be perfectly obvious to a less terrified mind.

"Can we... go for pizza? There's a little place just off the Plaza. The food is good... and they know me there." They know her. She's been there so much they have to know her. They couldn't have forgotten ...right?

"He's probably scared-- that things will go wrong again," she adds quickly. She's not scared, what are you talking about? She's not scared at all. Nothing scares her. Nothing. "Or that other people won't think he's honest. People can be very distrusting sometimes." Sometimes when it matters most.

"No problem. I'll stay with you as long as I'm able." If she knew her friend's fear, she'd reassure her that she wouldn't forget her, either, but she can't read minds. All she can do is wait patiently while Amelia regains her composure.

The request for pizza is met with surprise. "Oh... um, sure!" She smiles -- tentatively, at first, then more easily. "Sure, I love pizza. I didn't know you liked it, too. Do you have a favorite topping?" She shifts the weight of her messenger bag to her back so she can gesture to Amelia's books and notes. "Want any help gathering that up?"

Her friend's assessment of Caspar sparks another small feeling of surprise. Not because she thinks Amelia is wrong -- quite the opposite, actually. "Yes, that's... I think that's the case, too."

Amelia really gets Caspar. Huh.

"I'll just have to keep showing him how much I love him in return," she says, her smile turning playful. "And remind him how far he's come."

"I like a lot of spices on mine." Not surprising, given she was raised to run her family's spice trading business. "Basil and oregano are the best, but I like some of the spiced sausages the place we're going has, too." And familiarity is something she needs right now. Familiarity from other people is best, but food is good, too.

She shakes her head, then quickly starts gathering up the various stacks of books and papers when Adia offers to help. "I'm fine." Why does she keep saying that? It's always a lie. Her hands shake a little as she goes for the pile farthest from Adia first, so she can try to slow the shaking. Between the lack of sleep, over-caffeination, and lack of food, though, that's not actually possible. Still, she's going to ignore the way her hands shake as she packs all of her books into her own messenger bag and then slings it across her body.

Without knowing him, Amelia knows Caspar because she thinks so much like him. They're going to be very good friends when they meet - or constantly at each other's throats. If they can agree on anything, though, it'll likely be the former.

"That seems a good course of action." It would help Amelia now, if she would own up to the way she feels. Unlikely that's going to happen, though. "I'm sure he'll appreciate it, even if it takes time to break through."

Taking a deep breath, the rogue slowly pushes herself to her feet, then offers a hand to Adia to help her friend up. "Ready to go?"

It must have been a while since Adia has had her breakfast, too, because she can feel her stomach grumble from the description. "Sounds delicious. I love basil and oregano, Have you tried pepperoni? It's my favorite, but I always end up so thirsty afterwards."

The pleasant talk of food does not entirely distract her from the way Amelia's hands shake, but she doesn't intervene, even as she wishes she could help with at least this little thing. She'll have to keep this fact in mind, though, that Amelia and Caspar might have more in common than she first thought. "It's no chore," she says with a soft laugh. "He's very, very good to me, Amelia."

And she's not referring to her new coat.

She takes Amelia's hand and gets up as well. "Yep," she says. "Lead the way."

Edited 2017-12-09 03:02 (UTC)

"I have, and it's also very delicious. Maybe pepperoni, basil, and oregano, then?" It certainly sounds very good, even if Amelia's not feeling particularly hungry due to the stress.

As Adia stands, Amelia hesitates to let the other woman's hand go. It takes longer than it normally would for her to pull back, and she quickly busies her hands by fidgeting with her gloves as they start on the path out of the garden. Even the brief moment of contact was comforting, but the rogue knows better than to hold onto it. If she holds on, then she's going to break down and that is not an option right now.

"I'm sure he is, given how you smile every time you say his name." She's not teasing like she normally would be. Despite her sullen mood and unhappy demeanor, Amelia's very glad to see her friend so content and loved. "Hold onto him as long as you can, Adia, and I'm sure he'll do the same for you."

"Sure," Adia says agreeably. She'd be fine with anything, really, but that sounds like something she'd especially like. "How'd you find this place?"

That hesitation does not go unnoticed. Adia would offer her hand all the way to the pizza shop, but she's certainly not going to push physical touch onto Amelia. Instead, she stays close but gives the rogue the personal space she needs as they head out of the garden.

Amelia's comment makes her blush and smile again. "We do a lot of holding on," she admits. "Literally. He hasn't changed in that regard, he's always been physically affectionate with me, even while he keeps others at a distance."

"Someone showed it to me in a another version of the Nexus. It's different than it once was, but they all knew me when I came back after the change." And that's definitely something she needs right now. "I don't go often, but the staff is friendly and the pizza very good."

That sounds very familiar to Amelia, too. It must be Adia that brings it out in people like them. "You don't seem to mind at all," she says, teasing ever so slightly. "But I think being close to the person you love is a good thing. People always seem happier when they get to express themselves in a way that makes both partners feel good." Not that she has any personal experience, but she's seen it plenty to have an idea.

It's not too far of a jaunt once they make it to the Plaza to the pizza parlor. The shopfront is on a corner of a building, with lots of windows and bright spaces inside. The booths are large and comfy, and the one the two of them are seated at is more secluded by the plants sitting across the back of it. It seems like it's Amelia's favorite, because the rogue doesn't even have to ask for it to get it.

When the waitress has wandered off after taking their drink order (offering Amelia's usual of a ginger ale before she can even ask for it), Amelia sinks deep into the booth with a sigh. Despite the warmth inside the restaurant, she keeps her cloak on and tucked around her as she settles in. As she removes her gloves, she looks over at Adia with a small smile. "Not too bad, right?" she asks.

"Another version? You've been to a different Nexus?" She bites her lip, as if nervous, but seems awfully curious, too. "You know, I... I had something similar happen to me, and I still can't figure out if a lot of time passed while I was gone, or if this place really is different somehow..."

She's not going to let that weigh heavily on her mind, not when Amelia is making her blush. But that secretive smile is not going anywhere. "No, I definitely do not mind. Caspar is very... considerate. He knows what I like, and when he doesn't, he asks." She tucks her hands in the pockets of her coat and adds, "That's half the fun, actually. When he asks."

The pizza parlor evokes a feeling of nostalgia from within her, as if there is some universal truth to its appearance. She orders a ginger ale, too, because it is just the thing to cut through the spicy saltiness of pepperoni. "This place is super cute," she tells Amelia, slipping out of her coat and folding it up beside her in the booth. Already she's thinking about taking Caspar here for a slice and a shared milkshake.

Edited 2017-12-10 13:58 (UTC)

Getting back in touch. ((for rogueinladysclothing))

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